Confession
I was looking through Face Book. Ok actually I was snooping though pictures, you know if you “like” someones picture and they are not high privacy settings I can also look though your pictures. I shouldn’t but then they should put up more privacy. I can’t comment on them usually, but then if I did they would know that some crazy person was snooping on their stuff. I don’t do it all the time, only when I am killing time waiting for a realistic bedtime. Anyway, there are things I just don’t want to see.
Pregnant pictures, Ok yes I do want to see you and your big belly with the heart hands and the sweet little shoes or name blocks on your belly, but open skin, not so much. I am pretty positive that your 15-year-old son will be mortified at those pictures. I guess that is a great way to keep them humble, and embarrassed, and want to dig a hole to hide, is to show your half-naked or eluding to your half-naked pregnant body. Trust me they do not want to think about that at all. And trust me most of your friends do not want to see your mostly naked pregnant body either. We glance and smile but mostly feel awkward. Also the pregnant “funny” picture where you stand back to back with the father and his belly is poked out one way while your pregnant belly is poked out the other way is slightly disturbing. Trust me.
Now by all means get these done, seriously what time of your life can you pull off a big belly? But keep them for you to enjoy, keep them along with the boudoir pictures in a private location, we are glad you are pregnant and we are glad you have enjoyed the amazing thing your body is doing. Seriously growing a baby is AH-MAZ-ING but we don’t need to see it too. So go hire a photographer and get some sweet pictures to show us then get some romantic pictures to enjoy with your husband or baby daddy… your glowing pregnant body is for him to enjoy, so enjoy.
OK so technically it is my fault when I see those pictures because I was snooping but I’m speaking for your friends now, since they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
Duck Face Bathroom/Drivers seat pictures. Ok like singing in the bathroom or car our voices sound great, in real life not so much. I guess the same can be said for the lighting in the bathroom or the car, all that light makes us look better but to take so many duck face pictures we don’t need to see your dirty car or filthy bathroom. Trust me, almost everyone is looking at your surroundings because once you’ve seen one duck face car or duck face bathroom picture they all look the same. And some of you live in squalor in your bathroom germ fest, no wonder you get sick!
Yes I know those can be helped I can choose not to look at the pictures and most times I choose not to but sometimes I have a little too much time on my hands but not enough energy to get up and actually do something so I snoop.
Make out couples. I don’t care how old a couple is I don’t care who they are, what they look like or what they choose to do when they make out. I just do not want to have to view it. We have been out to eat and listened/watched as couples make out. I am the one that complains to the manager about you. Take it to the car people! I get disgusted watching a couple play tongue tag or some such game while standing in line. Yes we are all bored standing in line but there has to be something more socially acceptable than making out in line. Talking, texting, standing quietly… see I have given you 3 options already. Sadly I am seeing this more and more. Couples who can’t keep their hands from roaming while standing right next to me in line. I wonder if I start gagging will they stop? Maybe us “older” folks should make out in line, then they can be creeped out and grossed out and see how nasty it really is. Maybe that is the answer?
Body Parts meant to be covered. We don’t want to see them, I have no interest in seeing how short your shorts can be. Here is a little FYI if your pockets are longer than the shorts, they are just too short, when you sit and your skirt comes up so high that we are not sure if it is skirt or shorts, it is too short. I don’t want to see your belly hanging out from under your shirt and I don’t want to see your crack! This is hard to avoid seeing, walking through the grocery store and Sam’s club this weekend I saw a lot more of total strangers than I ever wanted to see. This does not make you a better person, it does not make you more smart or spiritual, but it does make you look better. Changes nothing in your heart but makes your physical self look better. So go with a more flattering look wear shorts longer than the pockets and skirts that cover your booty when you sit, keep your belly tucked in. You just look better.
So there you have it, things I don’t want to see. What about you? What are the things you see but don’t want to see?
Go hug your kids and remind someone why you love them.
jen
overholt8 
OK, I have a few of those things, too. My personal view is that all women should always have SOMETHING on their shoulders. I will even take a spaghetti strap (as long as their bra isn’t showing). I think strapless is ugly – especially all the wedding dresses nowadays. When a girl at church is sitting in her seat from the back she looks naked. Not a good thing girls! There is something to be said for holding back letting it all show up there.
Wrong bra size. A female who has the wrong bra size and is poofing out on top is way too eye catching. Go up a cup size or two and down a size the other way. It doesn’t matter if you are thin elsewhere or very heavy – we don’t want to see your poof!
Please, please, think through the thigh gap glorification. You have what God created you with. It is bone structure and that is all. Accept what you have and stop acting like having a thigh gap is a thing to be desired. Examine your desires and realize it is really just plain silly.
And Jen, when FB people have their settings set for you to view they are all but inviting you to view, so no need to feel like you are snooping.
Hahahah I never thought about strapless looking naked from sitting in a chair but now I do and you are right! I wonder if they never thought of that either? I notice too many people who need a bra wear strapless, also not a good look!
As for bra you are right the whole thing should fit neatly inside and be level with mid upper arm. No one cares what size it is as long as it is doing the intended job.
Read an article on thigh gap. It really only works on certain bone structure, where your leg/hip bones connect. so not everyone can have a thigh gap. And it is hard not to think it is necessary when media uses a little photo shop to give the girls a gap.
Thanks for the lookie-lou permission!
So what you’re saying is I am not going to see any pictures of your baby belly???
So…what I strongly dislike seeing is guy’s butts hanging out of their pants! I mean come on, really? We went to Winnie Palmer Hospital yesterday to see our new granddaughter and one of the young men checking in standing front of me had his pants hanging halfway down his buttocks and I wanted to scream. Steve is always trying to calm me down and tell me to let it go (I think he’s afraid I might get shot), but it bothers me greatly that they have no self respect or respect for others. I heard this trend started in prison and I’ll leave it there. It’s not that they can’t afford a belt siince they almost always have a cell phone in hand. I see them walking or running down the road and they have to hold up their pants with one hand. How stupid is that? I don’t understand why we can’t pass some law to enforce decency. We pass laws for everything else!
No Phyllis you will not get to enjoy my giant baby belly. It is not the thing of beauty that you think it is. I have great ability to grow babies and my stomach proves it!
Oh i think they look ridiculous when i can see their underwear and having to hold it up to walk I can’t say on here what I really think.
Ahahahaa….