We are on the count down to the end. The end of C’s education as a student as a school student. We are rapidly racing towards the finish line
{that being graduation} 
The time is short but also long, and if you’ve had a child graduate high school and begin college or a career, you know what I am talking about. I am sure it is by God’s grace things have been tough at home, the man-child is stretching his wings, he is pushing at boundaries, and he is struggling to become his own person. {God’s grace, so I will be ready to send him off.} It is rough and hard, he has forgotten how it feels to be a middle-schooler, and an elementary child, he has a hard time remembering that he is a part of a much bigger picture. He is becoming a self-absorbed college student right before our eyes. Oh don’t read this as a bash C blog, it is just a fact, a warning for those of you who will soon be approaching this time of your lives. I had a sweet mama friend come to me a few months back at CFA, she asked “how do you do it, how do you plan to send your child 13 hours away for college, how can you calmly sit there knowing that he is leaving?” I wondered that same thought when he was starting school, when he was in 8th grade, I wondered that same thought until middle of 11th grade. Then I knew it was time, God was preparing my heart for the separation. The beginning of the end. {Don’t read this as a send him away never to miss him. I cry when I think about our life ‘after’ as in ‘after’ C leaves for college, and we begin the first year with out him, I also don’t want to sound dramatic, he is not dead, just not with us, he will return for holidays and vacations, and summer time. I realize that we will never be a whole family once we leave him on campus at that university 13 hours away. Although, it is time. He is ready. We are ready. We are all ready.
The count down to graduation is moving with record pace. We are in the final stretch, this is exam week. With a terrible case of senior-itis, he no longer wants to study. Yesterday I had to all but force feed him his Greek book to get him to study. Even now I am not sure how much studying he actually did, as he laid on his floor with his eyes shut. He is studying now. If he scores high this will give him an A in the class. I have a feeling that this whole week will be forced study time.
Last week was his final choir concert. I look forward to the year-end concert, since our school hired this choir teacher the end of the year concerts have been amazing. The music, the singing, whole atmosphere, every single chance she gets she points the classes and the audience to Christ. This is just one more reason why I love our school. As I was saying this was his last choir performance, I know for a fact that I will not have to go to another one for years and years. I will miss it. I knew during the concert, or at the end when the hundred plus student choirs {from 4th grade to 12th grade choirs} circle the audience to sing one last song to glorify God, to point our hearts towards him, I knew I would probably tear up, maybe even cry a bit. What I did not know is during one of the songs I would begin to sob. Yes sob, body heaving, ugly noise, tears running down my face, sob. I was holding the baby, R was to my right, O to my left, O started to laugh, she had to look away, R; my compassionate child, got a little teary eyed. I sobbed through the song, these kids are graduating. It was during a solo portion of one of the songs, four different seniors had a solo in the song, when the first one started to sing, I started to cry. It was ugly. I know it is a foreshadowing of the next few ceremonies we will be participating in before graduation. I cried because I have watched these kids, some from the age of 3 others only through middle and high school, but I have watched them grow up, I feel a little ownership on them, they have been class mates and friends for years. So I sobbed, and was quietly crying during their last song.
Last choir concert check it off the list
Our church honors our seniors a few weeks before graduation. I knew it was coming I was mentally prepared. Ok I knew it was coming because I was emailed by my husband too many times to count to turn in the pictures of C for his recognition during the day. I turned them in at the last moment. The youth pastor sent C a text to remind him. The text included a picture of his computer screen where another graduating senior was on the screen, the threat was that student’s picture would be used for C if he did not turn anything in by the deadline. I said he should have replied”challenge accepted” In actuality Keith scanned pictures and we got them in during that last hour. {I know they love that!}
During the 2nd service the seniors all sat together on the front row, I was sad but okay with that sight. Then the youth pastor called each student up to the platform, I was still okay. Then the youth pastor asked us all to pray for our students as they leave our church and go out on their own. Surprisingly I was still okay. I did get misty eyed but never cried.
I thought I could check senior Sunday off the list and was thrilled that I did not cry.
Silly me.
Sunday night on senior Sunday they have the students set up a display table, we have a senior reception, and honor the seniors again. {It was a little chaotic to get there as I forgot about this. Oh sure I had the emails, but did not see, or know to open the attachments so I forgot about pulling stuff to decorate the table. C reminded me on Saturday, so Sunday afternoon while Keith was at a meeting and kids were doing homework or sleeping I rushed out to staples to print off his picture. J offered to do a powerpoint but since my computer is still holding all pictures hostage I had to turn down that offer} We arrived in plenty of time to decorate his table, he shared it with his birthday twin. The seniors again sat in the front, each child was introduced, and they gave a 2 minute bio on themselves and their plans for the future. I still was doing great, no tears, not even sadness, just peace. Our pastor was giving a challenge when PS needed to nurse so I sat and quietly nursed her, when I suddenly felt warm and wet, she had peed out her outfit all over me. I slipped out to change her and put her in my moby wrap to hide the wet on both of us. When I came back in the challenge had ended but the prayer time was beginning.
The graduates were positioned in two groups on either side of the stage, we were to come up and lay hands on them while we prayed for them. I took my place next to C, between 2 unsuspecting people.
Prayer began, we were given instructions on what specific things to pray about for our seniors. I knew this would be tough, the youth pastor led and the people followed suit. As we began praying I began crying, which quickly turned into sobs as we began praying for them to stand firm in their faith, to be protected, to shine Christ on those they come in contact with these next few years. And the sobs got loud, and hard. My friend also touching C started to comfort me while someone was praying. The guy in front of me later told C “I felt your mom’s sobs” It was ugly. As soon as I gained control of the sobs, one of the graduates mom’s began praying and the sobs came up again. Oh boy, this is tough.
Senior Sunday check it off the list
This week is finals for the seniors, next week they will be across the country on a senior trip. They will be at a camp as far west as you can get, prepping the camp for the summer campers. It is a great last minute bonding experience, and one last chance for some of their teachers and advisors to pour into their lives. After that is Baccalaureate rehearsal, C’s graduation open house, Baccalaureate Sunday, graduation rehearsal and graduation. Keith’s brother and wife are coming down, I am thrilled for the visit, although too short, that we will get to have with them.
We are coming to the end. I will make it, with plenty of fluids and a nice soft box of tissues, I will survive.
What about you? Ever have a kid graduate or are you at the beginning of your schooling?
Go hug your kid we are experiencing how fast time just keeps racing along!
jen